(no subject)

horoscope taurus
That horrible mood everyone was in yesterday is over, but maybe not entirely forgotten. Any leftover tension can be easily dissolved with a few well-placed words from you. Clear your throat and start soothing those troubled waters.

[insert well-placed words here]

"its the end of the universe, so come and hold me while it burns. and try to stay unjaded"

here I am at 6:30 am, typing away into this little box, before I throw the text out to the lions.

saw a show thingy last night.... I was stupid last night...

I think I need a day off. A day to just sit around, relax, and... I dunno.

I just need peace, for just a little while.

I'm callin' out here, for a dream to chase, I need one. But I don't think this place has anymore dreams for me. So I think my best bet is to go chase a few old dreams before they leave me. It might already be too late. I just.. have this feeling that something is waiting for me there. Something I was too blind to see when I left. I could just be a fool. I could just be running away, like I always do. Who knows. All I know is that I need to break my pattern. and so, I have about 3.5 months, untill my life changes again. This place has taught me some things, and I'm curious to see how I've grown compared to my old friends.

smile... please?
  • Current Music
    Bright Eyes - The Movement of a Hand

"I feel like Nero playin on, watchin Rome burn to the ground. For this day I've waited"

well, today was supposed to be my day off. my first in 9 days. but, see, I kinda buckled when someone begged me to take their shift.

that means, so far no days off this pay period. but on the bright side I'm not fucking closing for once.

well.. I thought I had something inspirational to say, or something like that, but it seems to have left me now. oh well, I guess theirs tomorrow for the whole inspiration thing.


links of the moment:
oooh sexy sexy phone
holy shit!
  • Current Music
    Descendents - Bikeage

"if I had the chance I'd stick around, and watch it all come crashing down...

..with everything I've hated"

shitty.. shitty night. I hate my job, and I hate doing dishes. I hate Sean's stupid fucking sense of humor. I hate people who show up after we're closed and get pissed at us for being closed. I hate that... oh, who am I kidding. I fucking hate everything right now.

"Do I hear the hollow sound, Footsteps resounding on this frozen ground, Or the familiar disappointment of the echoes of my own?"

So I got this plan I think will make me happy, and it involves relocation. Yeah, yeah. We've all heard this one before right?

but what if it doesn't make me happy. I've been tryin for years now, and well... the best laid out plans of mice and men.. ya know? hey, its been a few sentences since I last used a swear word, better remedy that. fuck.


"Weightless, Endless, Faithless, I'll adore you. A single touch, before I fade. Painless let me pass through."

It all comes down to this. I am a defective human being. thinking about it, their is nothing about my life that is any more tragic than anyone elses. The things that have hurt me are common. The only thing that makes my life any worse than anyone elses is that I can't heal like they can. I can't cope. I can't get over things. I guess you could say I'm an emotional bleeder.

And what the fuck do I do about it?

fucked if I know.

I'll set the world on fire and, in burning light I'll write my first love song and I will feel warmth. Hide your eyes in heaven, in the lies. Believe. Relieve. I'll end the world tonight."
  • Current Music
    AFI - Morningstar

"things will never be the same, theirs no need to be afraid, when all the lights have faded."

once again, sitting around before work, on my day off none the less. Yes, I had today off, but Joel begged me to cover his 8 hour shift today, so I agreed.

Rent is paid. Bills are paid. All is right in the Universe. So, what now?

Well thats simple, Ms. Moneypenny. I start to stress next month, and I start saving. A plan has been made, and it seems I am once again needed to perform a miracle. Luckily, miracles are my specialty.

links of the moment:
LG C1300
sucks to be a broadband user in America...

haiku of the moment:
time to catch a train
to leave this place behind me
and chase a new dream
  • Current Music
    Velvet Underground - What Goes On?

"I know we don't see eye to eye, but your just peddling lies. It seems so overrated"

you know, its strange. I really can't find any decent explanation, but it seems that sneaking up behind a stupid alb and catching him with a backstab, eviscrate, and kidney rupture with a poisoned dagger and stiletto, then to throw my instant nuke at him, killing him, and running off in stealth mode before his friends even have a chance to get their, is a feeling not matched by many.

thats what I've been doing all day. I got two hours of sleep, and now I'm off to work. Ye gods, what have I done?
  • Current Music
    David Bowie - Cygnet Comittee

"no one ever has the time, everyone just passes by. whats so complicated?"

10 minutes till I start the walk to work. then, five hours until I am free again. Does that matter? I think not.

Nothing really does.

I had many dreams last night. I can't recall the first, but the second sticks out in my mind.

I decided to embark on a journey back home. Just for a visit. I was at a bus station waiting for my bus to arrive, when who should I find on this bus, but Dillon (my manager/friend) driving and many of my coworkers on the bus. They were all going the same way. On this bus I met a girl, who was beautiful, and loved me more than I could ever imagine a person loving me. I wasn't sure of how I felt about her at this point. suddenly we had to stop. We got out and found only an abandoned restaraunt. For some reason or another, we started it up again. As we worked, all my childhood friends came to eat. Nate was even their. He told me he couldn't believe what an amazing job I was doing. I decided to go outside, and the girl from the bus was changing trash cans. I told her she was far to beautiful for such a disgusting task. She started to take her clothes off and I stopped her. She went to kiss me and I thought "how can I let this girl kiss me when another has my heart in the real world?" But she kissed me anyways, and then, a ragged man ran by us. I saw everyone chasing him, ready to smash his head in. I looked to the girl and said "Mob actions, it makes my stomach churn." We started to walk back, when suddenly we were in a long, underground corridor. I looked to her and said "start running!"

And we ran. Then I looked behind me, and she was gone. Thats when I noticed I was being attacked, and I ran faster. I ran untill I found myself in my old bedroom in that trailer park in Nipomo, and Carlos, my other manager, was their, laughing and smoking pot. He started to ramble, and I heard the sound of a woman crying. "I have to find her" I said, and I ran toward the door. The crying got louder. I opened it, and the girl from the bus fell through it, her clothes torn up. I only said "oh my god babe...." and she said "please don't run away from me again." I felt myself start to cry, and then I was awake.

the words "please don't run away from me again" are still echoing through my skull.....
  • Current Music
    Paul And The Strings - Drug Sick / Love Sick